Tuesday, December 12, 2006

An Electric Shock

I like electricity.
It's the best thing to power your electric toothbrush, your wet/dry Vac, the heating in your garden shed and many, many other appliances.
Did you know that electricity was invented by the Vikings?
They used it to power thier helmet warmers when they went out fishing for the giant herrings they used to make Viking Juice.
Electricity was stolen from the Vikings by Robin Hood, who took it back to Sherwood forest to help create weapons to defeat the hairy hillmen who were always stealing his food.
Where would we be without it.
Why, without electricity we'd have no pizza.
Without electricity we'd have no spanners.
Without electricity there'd be no electric spiders, or electric bread or electric Chinamen.
Even I'm made of electricity, not like some silly, battery powered automaton.
It flows through my veins like blood and out of my eyes into the atmosphere where it's turned into a special drink that I pour over my plants to make them grow big and strong.
If you'd like your plants to be big and strong, perhaps I'm the man for you.
All my loving.


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